Wow! You might not understand but it’s taken me several hours just to put finishing touches to this post and also make some announcements at the end of it. I’m hoping it’d be worth your time and read. Enjoy! 🙂
Back in secondary school/college, do you remember those really smart students always admired and looked up to?(at least secretly) but your only reason for ‘beefing ‘ them was because their own was too much! They seemed to come out within the first to third position range and so the whole class just accepted that they didn’t even bother striving so hard to come close to the third position. The gap between them and the rest of the class was very obvious. You’d hear things like, “the class belongs to them”, “let’s just manage to do well at least not fail and get promoted.” Lol which of these two categories did you fall in? Thinking about this and how these positions don’t really matter much. It teaches me a lot about life and understanding that no matter how much you know, there’s still much more to learn.
Before I go on, I need to state this:
I have someone amazing who has been really pivotal to my growth these past years. Wait till I introduce you to the entity lol. If you have noticed in a few of my write ups, I always talk about that person lol. That’s because they’ve been present and consistent through the years. This is one powerful lesson I learnt in my day to day interactions with them. Learning to say, “I don’t know”. Three simple words yet filled with the desire to know much more. It is one powerful tool we all must learn. I’d tell you why!
Ever since I began seeing lessons in every thing I go through, it translated to also learning from folks I converse with even without their knowledge.
I remember few years back, I had the Lord deal with my mind about this my human perfectionism thing(if you’ve read this post or listened to me talk about it here you’d understand me better) and how it was hindering me from appreciating/benefitting from people like I should. At that time, there were standards I set in my minds that I felt if anyone didn’t meet up to, they were not to be looked at the second time. If you surpassed them, it felt too good to be true. I always wanted things to go my way! If they didn’t, I’d throw a tantrum and gush about how my idea is actually better. The funny thing about this is that my standards were not always consistent lol. It was inconsistent with different people.
All these to say that even when it came to the things I was learning, I felt pressured to always know even when I sincerely didn’t because I had no control over it. I remember there was a time I was feeling entitled to people’s information or stuff that was going on with them. I’d wonder why they told their friend and not me especially because I was a friend too. I mean why didn’t you inform me? Lol
It’s in this context I’m writing guys. I’m not implying that you shouldn’t learn when you don’t know a subject but you must come to a point in your life where you don’t allow what you don’t know define or determine your mood or relationship with others making you appear insecure.
Here are some points you need to constantly remind yourself of everyday:
It’s Okay to say “I don’t know”: If you really don’t, why beat yourself up? Say it anyway and let the devil and your egoistic prideful self admit it (ouch! That hurts). It’s pride to think you have all the answers. Some of you were doing fine till you allowed pride make you into an insecure person. So tell me, have you ever been in a position where you were asked a question you didn’t know but instead of admitting that, you ended up disgracing yourself? It’s just like those street interviews of random Nigerians where they’d be asked “what is photosynthesis?”. They go, “it’s a place for taking pictures”😱😂 Just stop it dear!!🙄 Say, “I don’t know”! It’s perfectly okay to.
Stop Trying to Always Prove a Point: Maybe you need to also stop trying to ALWAYS prove a point during that conversation. A lot of insecure people have this problem, thinking they should have answers all the time. It becomes a problem when all you look forward to during conversations with your friend, parent or neighbour is proving a point no one asked you to.😆
You’re not necessarily Defined by What you Know: while people would give you credit for a good work done or knowledge you shared with them, you must never make that define you or depend on that for your happiness. A lot of people are in crazy and complicated situations because they let their constant need to get approval overshadow their sanity. While it’s good to be vast in several areas, don’t seek to be defined by how much you know.
Don’t Always Seek to Please People: If you really probed yourself and looked back on situations where you didn’t admit you were learning or that you didn’t know a particular thing, you just might have been a people pleaser. Somehow, some folks believe that you should know everything, have an answer to every question you ask them. Sadly, many have become people pleasers as a result. Learn to do this more often and start becoming more confident.
Feigned Knowledge is worse than ignorance: Need I say more?
You must know that there’s power in being content while still wanting to know more.
Does anyone relate with this? How has saying “I don’t know” helped you stay sane or appear wise/foolish to people? What would you do differently on reading this? Share your thoughts in the comments section 🙂
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